I have struggled for a long time with an imbalance in my life. Some people refer to this a being "top heavy". That is, over-relying on intellectual power in order to survive in this world and be more successful. My "intellectualism" has gotten me into hot water with the Lord on many occasions and in many ways. It has too often quenched the influence of the Holy Spirit in my life, relationships and ministry. A good mind is a great gift, but it's easy for all of us to overuse our strengths in life in our attempts to wrongly protect ourselves, mask our fears and reduce perceived threats against us. This area of weakness in me was the target for the "Immanuel" healing that I would begin to graciously experience on May 16th 2015 in Kona Hawaii.
A lot of times our problems peel off of us in layers as we walk with Jesus as our Lord. I had experienced a number of big breakthroughs in this very same area of my life in previous years. However, there was still an area of "decay" in my soul that fueled my struggle with being too "heady" that I had not previously perceived. As Terri and I prayed together in our hotel room on top of Kilauea that morning I was clearly reminded of the influence upon me of a friend I had made when I was 13 and 14 years old. I probably spent a total of 10-15 full days with this young man. He was a brilliant university student who was studying at a highly-acclaimed school in Chicago. I lived in a NE suburb of Detroit and he was a family friend of our neighbors across the street who introduced me to him. (I finally recalled his name that morning after some effort.) I don't think that I thought of Robert more than a few times since becoming an adult.
I was a young teen and emotionally disconnected from my father. (Dad soon after this time became a follower of Jesus. He moved to Kansas City after my Mom passed away in '89 to be close to me and my family. We built an extraordinary friendship in those years until he passed away in '07.) Anyway, Robert took a genuine interest in me as a person and affirmed me as having the potential to become a highly-educated intellectual like him. He taught me to play chess and we talked about history, life and philosophy. My immature and insecure heart longed for this kind of attention and approval from an older male and so I gravitated toward becoming an intellectual, Robert had given me a copy of Ayn Rand's book, Atlas Shrugged, which I read and talked about with him. Because I admired him on an intellectual level, I thought I'd become an "objectivist" like him. Besides, Mr. Spock appeared on our TV screens around this time and I deeply identified with him too! By 16 years old, I was a very confused pseudo-intellectual-hippie-jock! I was putting on all kinds of masks in a vain attempt to "find myself".
I had previously, with the help of Terri, shed some of the layers of "intellectualism" from the influence of Mr. Spock, but it was in remembering Robert and Atlas Shrugged that I was set up for an even deeper "Immanuel" healing for my heart.
A VOICE OF HOPE
Michael Sullivant's Blog
I am a child of God, husband, father, grandfather, spiritual father, author, speaker and hope coach.